I just received a proof copy of my new Dr. Grordbort's book - Triumph.
At 20 of your finest North American doubloons you'd be mad not to buy one and help me to save towards that private island I've had my eye on.
You be stealing from yourself really - not buying a copy is like burgling the joy from your very soul.
You wouldn't download a pirated DVD, so why would you even consider deleting the happiness from your own heart?
Think of the children for a second. Think of all the little children starving in Africa - it's a sobering thought isn't it?
Well, if you buy my book you'll stop thinking of them for probably like half an hour at least - that's got to be worth it.